Processed. Print. Thirteen.

Pentax K1000/Fujicolor Superia 400

April 26 2013 La Quinta, Ca



Find

The moon sits on the horizon as our eyes slowly grow
A weekend after another until they seem to melt into one
Done, it's finished and we are home
Alone, trying to settle again

A year of work nullified into a single thirty minutes
All of it lost, all of it for nothing
I come home angry, unhappy at these people
This anger sits, waiting, and where is it released?

Released into days of longing for better ones
Released onto projects that keep me busy
Released onto this blinding walk through uncertainty

A day off to wander, to spend time with myself
And my mind is filled with bitterness
Repeated memories of what is and what was
I feel trapped in a conflict with my heart

I don't have an answer this time around
A solution that makes everything better
A solution that fixes it

But as a day grows longer my thoughts sit softer
Quiet voices still kept in small purses
The same that open and release loud winds of hope

Hope
Finding hope

Processed. Print. Twelve.

Pentax K1000/ Fujicolor Superia 400

February 1 2013

I met Daisy about two years ago. I was going to a show in Echo Park and when I was waiting in line I saw Andrea, which at that point, I hadn't seen or talked to her since 2006, five years!

I remember the feeling of re-introducing myself to Andrea again and how nice it was to meet a familiar person again but knowing nothing about her. I think we were completely different people in high school, I know I was so I felt this sense of a clean start even though Andrea and I never really talked in high school. Daisy was there with Andrea and I met her for the first time.

This was May 2011 so it was almost going to be a year since graduating from college and moving back to Pomona. At this time I was still struggling with the transition of living a fairly independent life for four years to living at home again. There was a lot of conflict going on with me due to the stress of navigating life after school, trying to find a way to be productive without professors giving you assignments, finding a job that I actually liked and paid well enough to help with my student loans, trying to meet people in the art world to build some sort of community. This on top of many things caused a lot of conflict in me at the time.

Daisy told me she was about to graduate in June and she shared some of her anxieties about life after college but it didn't seem to bother her as much. I think seeing someone that seemed to be fearless really helped me find peace with where I was. Also it just helped to talk to someone that seemed to understand what life after college could be. I've never told her that but as I was looking at this photo that I took of her in February of this year and I remembered the first time we met and I remember that feeling.

Daisy reminds me to work harder at being a present friend because she lives in Los Angeles and even though it isn't that far, it seems more difficult for me to make time to see friends that don't live in the cities right next to mine. A big lesson I've learned and am still learning this year is to make time to enjoy life, enjoy friendships, enjoy meeting people and getting to know them better and sharing.

I like this photo of her because it reminds me that people embody so much, and they offer more than you can imagine, and contain a vast complexity. Yet, at the same time, we are really simple and sometimes all we need are things that are really simple to be happy or to be at peace. In this case I was happy to get a day off to hang out with her, look at art, and just talk about how simple and complex our lives are.

Processed. Print. Eleven.

Echo Park, December 18 2011

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

I've always been fascinated with store fronts, but mostly those mom and pop store fronts, those are the ones that get me. I like little markets like this one because they are organized but chaotic at the same time. And the amount of what is in the store is aesthetically enjoyable compared to those big box stores that have an entire thirty foot isle stocked with all kinds of sandwich breads. Whereas these markets have just a few types of bread.

I was riding my bike up Sunset to see Beach fossils on this night and the glow from this store front made me stop. Lately I've been so busy that I haven't really let myself stop, just stop and take it all in. It happens to me a lot, getting stuck in this whirlwind of loud processess. But here I am, stopping for a while, and it's nice. Maybe I can work towards some sort of medium, a medium that lets me continue to utilize what I have to offer as a community member, a person of this planet, but at the same time gives me enough space to breathe, to enjoy the work that is past, present, and ahead.

Maybe stopping or pausing might help me see something that I would normally just past right by.
I like that you can't make out the address number in the photo, it leaves room for something else, something I haven't yet seen. 

Processed. Print. Ten.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Upland, CA June 2012

Here is a portrait of my friend Abraham holding the best ice cream in Upland. I met Abraham at a local music show one night, it was cool because even though we have so many mutual friends, we didn't meet through any of them. We met because we just introduced ourselves to each other.

Abraham and I have had our ups and downs as friends due to my personality clashing with his but we got through it by learning more about each other. And I like our current friendship now because we have both learned how to adjust in ways that are not extreme but enough to respect each other and accept each other fully. I speak for myself when I say these things and I speak for myself when I say that I really look up to plenty of Abrahams traits. He is one of the most considerate and respectful roommates that I've ever lived with but he's still not as cool as my roommate Toph.

I'm so proud of him for all the strength that he has carried and I'm so happy that we had a chance to really get to know and understand each other recently. I'm happy that I have the chance to be there for friends that need me, even if it's a small gesture, I think it makes such a difference in both of our lives. Abraham told me a few weeks ago, "things can only get better from here" and those words of hope and trust in himself and his faith have stayed with me.

I'm grateful to have a friend that I can learn so much from, but also a friend that displays so much strength within himself. The most inspiring thing about Abe is that he always trying to better himself, he is constantly checking himself and finding ways to be a better Abe. I think that's pretty rad.

Squirtle Power.

Processed. Print. Nine.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Pomona, July 2012

I feel like a proud/overly proud dad because I've been collecting a lot of photos of Toph. In this past year she has become my designated- (Toph, you look cool, I'm going to take a photo of you) figure. This is her on her driveway, just hanging out in the sun.

I appreciate days that I get off work earlier in the day and I don't have any plans, any responsibilities, anyone to see, because I just spend the entire day with her and play. Today when I got home, she was laying on my bed completely sideways, wagging her tail, and I chased her around the house for too long, and played catch with her for too long, and hid some of her toys for her to find. Took her on a walk in the evening when the sun was going down, and we've been doing this thing where towards the end of our walk, I take her leash off so she can get used to walking with me freely.

My mom always laughs at how excited and crazy Toph gets after she gets a bath. She just runs back and forth between my room and the living room. My mom says it's because she feels energized. She smells nice now and shes asleep under my desk in her bed as I'm writing about her.

Processed. Print. Eight.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

April 21st, 2012
Buzzards Roost, Boulder Creek, Ca (mountains north of Santa Cruz)

In late April, Adrien and I made a trip up to Santa Cruz for three days to see The Shins play and to also just enjoy the city. On the second day that we were in Santa Cruz, we decided to drive north to Boulder Creek in Big Basin Redwood State Park. I will never forget how much fun I had and I know Adrien and Toph had just as much fun. Especially Toph, it was a great hike because there was hardly no one on this trail because it was definitely a harder hike, so Toph was off her leash and just ran around like a crazy dog.

We finally got to the top after a lot of heavy breathing and tired legs, and this was the view. Just imagine this but completely 360 degrees all the way around, all we could see were the top of the pines. I'm happy that we didn't give up half way there and turn around because it was all worth it when we finally got to the top, and the whole hike just to get there was a beautiful view. All that hard work paid off and this is the picture that was taken from the very top.

Processed. Print. Seven.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Pomona, November 2011

These were taken on my front lawn. Even though they are not in the same picture, these two coexist peacefully, or playfully is the better word. Sai is Xavier's cat which we found along with two other kittens abandoned on a sidewalk in front of a church by my house back in August of that year. We ended up finding the other two kittens a home and Xavier decided to keep Sai. Toph was about eight months old when Sai was just a little kitten and I would always bring Toph over to play with Sai.

They quickly became best friends and it did help that Sai was already living with two big dogs and a parrot. They don't get to see each other so often anymore but whenever they do, all they end up doing is run around and chase each other and wrestle. Whoever said cats and dogs don't get along might've just never gave them a chance to.

Processed. Print. Six.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 800

San Gabriel, December 2011

Here is a photo of my sister Jenny and my cousin Logan. We spent Christmas eve at my aunts house which we've done for the past few years now. Jenny is showing Logan how to put the cupcake batter in the wrappers. I'm happy that I get to record moments, any moment, but especially these moments that might be forgotten about or maybe weren't that significant but maybe they can be, or are.

I like to think of photography as a collection of these moments in time, and it's a nice feeling to be able to just go through photos from the past and remember these times. I think it helps.

Processed. Print. Five.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 800

Pomona, February 2012

These are my friends Xavier and Lily. We spent the evening exploring the Pomona Art walk and as we were walking down the steps to the soho gallery I realized I haven't taken any pictures of these two together with my film camera. As this urge came to me, I asked both of them to walk back up the steps so I could take their picture.

I want to just write this before I go on, I'm not biased because these two are my best friends and that I've been friends with Xavier for eight years.

I'm so happy that these two have found each other, that they treat each other with so much respect, so much love, and they are really there for each other. I remember when they actually became a couple and the first few times I got to be around them, I would be so overwhelmed with joy. I would always have to yell it, tell them how much I loved their love. And I'm not just saying this because I love these two humans, Xavier has been in relationships where I didn't feel like it was the right partner for him and this is the first time that I feel wholeheartedly that he has found a wonderful person to share his life with.

What I've learned from their relationship and I admire about them is that they have learned so much from each other and even though they might have different views on certain things, they have found a way to really understand one another. I've watched Xavier transform little parts of his life for the better because of Lily and the same for Lily. I hope to find a partner one day that I can share my life with, learn so much from, and also for them to be able to understand differing ideas, lifestyles, and hopes of mine.

I'm glad I got this photo, they look way too cool for their own good.

Processed. Print. Four.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Pomona, December 2011

The biggest unexpected surprise of 2011 was raising a dog, and becoming a dog owner. One day in January my dad brought this little puppy home on his lunch break from work. He told my brother and I that some random stranger tried giving the puppy to his coworker but he didn't want it so he asked my dad and my dad took her home. I remember my niece and nephew being so excited, running around in the front lawn with her.

At first my brother agreed that he would keep the dog so I figured that was fine, I didn't think I had enough time anyway to take care of her. After a few days my brother decided that it was too much work to house train her/ train her/ take care of her so he asked me to find her a new home. My two youngest sisters were living in San Gabriel at the time and they thought they would try taking her in. After the first night they brought her back.

I felt really bad that this little puppy couldn't find a decent home and I really wanted to keep her but I thought I wasn't capable of taking care of her so I asked a bunch of people that I knew could give her a good home and eventually gave her to my friend Yesenia. Yesenia had her for a few days and really did want to keep her but her mother thought it was a bad idea because Yesenia's sisters were so in love with the puppy and her mom thought the puppy was too much of a distraction. So Yesenia called me and asked me if I could take her back.

I remember on the drive back home "Toph" came onto my lap and fell asleep. I think for me, that was the final straw, having her go to three new homes and no one being able to keep her. I felt bad, I didn't want to send her to another home only to be rejected again. On that car ride home I promised to her that I would take care of her the best I could.

It's funny because my niece and nephew named her Roxy and my sisters named her Moose "moo moo" and Yesenia named her Pretzel. I pretty much disliked all of those names and I ended up naming her Toph- pronounced- "toff"-"ta-off" not "toe-oph" "toof".

Toph is an awesome dog and I'm happy to have her in my life. Shes pretty smart, obeys me (sometimes), is affectionate, the best story-teller, hypoallergenic, doesn't shed her fur, friendly(to most people), housetrained like a wizard, and most of all my best friend. My sister Ly pointed out that it was nice to see a side of me that she never saw, my nurturing side. I'm the youngest of five children, all I ever had to take care of was myself and a few pet turtles. I didn't have a younger sibling to take care and when I got Toph this whole new side of me came out, I pretty much became a dad/ older brother.

So far the hardest part of being a pet owner was when I had to take Toph to get spayed, and the whole ordeal of having her down and out like that was the longest week of my life. But she got through it and I lived through it.

I really love this photo of her sleeping, I always wonder what she dreams about.

Processed. Print. Three.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Hollywood, December 6 2011

This is Amy Marie in front of the music box (Henry Fonda Theatre) on her birthday. We were lining up to see Girls play and while waiting in line Christopher Owens walks out of the venue right in front of us, standing there smoking a cigarette. And one of our friends just yelled, "Hey Chris! I'm a big fan of yours!" hahaha.

This was such a wonderful night, and I'm so glad that I won two Girls tickets the day before just by posting a picture of Audrey Tautou on facebook! I never win anything and to win those two tickets last minute was too awesome because I really wanted Amy to go with us and we got to invite our friend Daniel! Earlier in the day Adrien and I surprised Amy with a single donut with a few candles in front of her house, I still remember how happy she was when we started singing happy birthday to her at her house and in the venue! Thinking back on this night I feel so happy that I got to share this night with such cool friends. And I'm glad we got to do this for Amy's birthday.

Processed. Print. Two

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 800

Pomona, February 11 2012

This is my friend Randy Tomimitsu in front on his artwork at Bunny Gunner Gallery in downtown Pomona. I remember coming to the art walk later on this night because I was finishing up some flyer work. I knew I wanted to get a picture of Randy in front of his artwork so when I got to downtown I kept calling his phone. He didn't pick up so I went to the record store and noticed he was busy helping customers. We got Rene to cover the store while I dragged Randy next door to the gallery to get this picture.

I'm feel so grateful to have Randy as my friend. I remembering coming back from college and not knowing anyone in my own hometown. I was going around the arts colony checking all the galleries that popped up during the time I was away and I noticed the record store was still in downtown. I walked in and introduced myself to Randy which is something I never do but there was something about Randy that made it easy to be myself.

Processed. Print. One.

process ¹ |ˈpräˌses, ˈpräsəs, ˈprō-|

noun

1 a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.

film |film|

noun

1 a thin flexible strip of plastic or other material coated with light-sensitive emulsion for exposure in a camera, used to produce photographs or motion pictures.

It has taken me four years to finally go and process some old film that has been lying around for years. The earliest being a roll of black and white 400 from 2008. And the latest roll of color 400 from March 2012. 

So I had all these rolls processed at a place in Los Angeles, I was fortunate enough to pick them up right before the business closed on Friday night (right before the sketchbook show) and today I took the film to a local costco to get some prints. Now I about a hundred photos that I completely forgot about and it's so nice to see what I took. 

I think that's what so great about film, it's nice to forget about what you took since you can't see it right after you take it. Also the look and feel of film is just completely different than digital. I'm so excited to share these photos from different periods of time.

This is a new segment of my blog called "Processed. Print."

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 800

Echo Park, December 18 2011

I only remember this date/day because I was going to Echo Park to see Beach Fossils at the Echo. I was walking from the LA Union station up Sunset and I remember passing by this food truck and thinking, "turn around, turn around, take a picture" so after a block of battling in my head, I decided to walk back and take a photo. 

I feel so lucky that I can go out by myself and explore places. My friend the other day told me "I wish I could do the same, but I get scared something could happen to me". This reminded me that our society can be so disrespectful and so wrong. It saddens me that people get harrassed and disrespected just because. Gender roles play a huge part in this perception of weak/strong people due to sex, size, image. Some of the most powerful women I know are some of the smallest women I know. I work on these roles everyday and I try to shed myself of these ideas because we are human, we shouldn't be tied down by stereotypical characteristics because of how we look, dress, and what gender we are.

That night was a nice night, I ended up getting home at 3 am because my bus decided to make a detour and I didn't realize this until 2 am. It was well worth it anyhow.