long talks

Steps

enter dramatic music

Protesta

Pomona City Hall
505 South Garey Ave.
Pomona Ca 91766
5 pm

Little Bird by Dickson Schneider

This is a video that my art professor in college made years before I took any of his classes and I stumbled upon it one day and I really liked it. About a year after I saw this video, I told my professor Dickson that I was in love with this video of his. I remember him saying that he was angry at something or was having a conversation with someone over dinner and they ended up talking about this subject of life and he felt like he needed to record bits of it.

So here it is, the little bird complaining to a cat.





I think I really liked this video when I first saw it because of the seriousness of the content that was being talked about placed in this very comical setting, a bird complaining to a cat. I think life can be full of meaning and at the same time like the little bird says, "it's meaningless".

Back in August when I went on a Buddhist retreat in Vancouver I learned that yes, life is full of suffering, suffering is everywhere and in everyone. But at the same time, you can't have suffering without joy because theres always another side to something. This idea that we must get rid of suffering completely, which is something I think everyone would want but it's as I learned you can't have one without the other. One analogy that I really liked from one of the talks was, if you cut a rope to try to get rid of the left, the left is still there, you cut it again, and it's a new left, no matter how much you try to get rid of the left it will still be there. There is no right without a left just like there is no son without a father, there is no rain without the cloud.

So it isn't necessarily an idea of how to get rid of suffering, but how to recognize it and embrace it so we can let joy in. I love this video and I loved that retreat because it gave me a chance to learn more about this complicated life and it gave me better tools to lessen this suffering and lessen the suffering of others around me.

Processed. Print. Seven.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Pomona, November 2011

These were taken on my front lawn. Even though they are not in the same picture, these two coexist peacefully, or playfully is the better word. Sai is Xavier's cat which we found along with two other kittens abandoned on a sidewalk in front of a church by my house back in August of that year. We ended up finding the other two kittens a home and Xavier decided to keep Sai. Toph was about eight months old when Sai was just a little kitten and I would always bring Toph over to play with Sai.

They quickly became best friends and it did help that Sai was already living with two big dogs and a parrot. They don't get to see each other so often anymore but whenever they do, all they end up doing is run around and chase each other and wrestle. Whoever said cats and dogs don't get along might've just never gave them a chance to.

crazies

the colors duke, the colors

Xavier, Hayward Ca, February 2012

bring to

Hippie

August 2010

This is a drawing of Xavier as a hippie. I made this for free art fridays at the Oakland Art Murmur and now I regret ever giving it away, oh well, I do hope however that the owner of this drawing still has it or has given it to another person or a dog ate it, that would be cool if a dog ate this drawing.

unquiet days

Magnolia Electric Co- Northstar Blues

Where were the rest of my songs tonight
I only remember the north star blues
Simple old song, a stage each night
Marking the time that I lost you

No one should forgive me
I knew what I stood to lose
I'm better off now
Just forgettin' how I came to have
The north star blues

How can I be the only one
Whose life can't live up to its life
How can I be the only one
Whose heart refuses to try

DIY Cat Scratcher

Recently my friend Amy adopted a kitten named Cookie. I've only met Cookie on two occassions but she has left a lasting impression on me, I already love the little one. Cookie is just like any other ordinary kitten, likes to run around, be cute, and play with everyone and anything. I thought I'd try to make some homemade cat things for Cookie and Amy to enjoy.

I found out about a lot of homemade cat toys that are really easy to make and can save you a lot of money but one that really stood out to me was this DIY cat scratcher. Because I learned every cat needs one that isn't your own furniture and it's pretty practical. Who knew basic scratchers were just corrugated cardboard? So I got down to some basics and brought home some boxes from work and spent a whole night on this little project.

All it took was about six boxes, cutting the boxes into long pieces with a blade and taping and painting. 

"Can we keep it?"

I think Toph felt kind of neglected on this day, not only did I make this scratcher but I made a few other simple toys as well. This project gave me a bunch of ideas for Toph. I have all kinds of DIY toys that I can make her now and I've recently been doing some reading on fun games that I can play with her- like playing hide and seek and even hiding her toys/treats and having her find them.

It's nice to make things for people you care about and if they actually end up liking it, that's a bonus. And I learned a lot about cats during this process, who knew cat nails/claws shed in layers and routine trimming/care of their claws is super important and it hurts much less when they climb on you with those things. I hope Cookie puts these toys to use even if it's just for a little while.

The backs of our hands

I see you from every vantage point
While this humming chatter bounces off old grey walls
Of course it’s nice to see you
Of course it’s been too long
Of course we need a day

I see you
Shoulders squashed
Arms crossed
Sitting by yourself with a faint sound that I can’t yet hear
Drink it, you tell me, while a second voice echoes
Your face dismal like these old worn floors
Steps stepping on your heart and I can feel it
And you tell me

I see you
Warm from hiding
Scrimmaging on this roof
I smile and I know this is all intended and I stay here
A sense of wants not wanted, gives not given
Here before, here too often
Until you can't hold it all in

I see you
Gripping onto me with no feel
Desperately saying what’s real in this clashing state
Making no real plans but making plans
Until the grip is up and all that’s left are our backs facing each other

I see you
broken heart and all

I see you
I cry for you and I feel all that you might run away from
I cry for this suffering

Rotating metal through warm winds
Lights illuminating and I see your face
Then I see myself and I’m no different
I see myself from every vantage point from this quiet sobbing to these loud shouts
But I stay, I stay here with you until it’s passed on

awake

This Unbearable Lightness of Being

This breaking, shaking, crying, trying, lying, shouting, crowding. It leaves my body full of unbearable heaviness, so full that my skin shivers with the constant reminder that this is real. I wake up every morning and I still pinch myself and I ask no one, "Is this real, tell me it's just a nightmare."

Every time I stop, I begin to think how could something so wrong be so real. How could so many lies win over so much truth and this leaves my head spinning with this unbearable heaviness. And I try to retain these thick streams of thoughts that remind me why I smile, but it's hard.

But I'm wrong, I'm wrong and I'm not alone, and I have to remember this, I'm not alone. That this compassion that I carry is just a piece, a fragment. That this piece is but one out of countless, endless amounts of pieces that we all carry. And now I see that I don't just carry this unbearable heaviness by myself and myself alone, but my numerous brothers and sisters all carry it as well. Some more heavy than others and this helps me to create this conduit where I can store some of this burden, or even release some of it.

I will not abandon hope, I will not abandon my family, my friends, this city, and I will not abandon myself. Some days I don't even feel this unbearable lightness of being and I cherish those times, those hours, those days. It reminds me of why I must not give up, not give in, and it reminds me that I can continue to carry this weight because it's only as heavy as I let it become.

Jasmin

Jasmin, Hayward, 2010

Processed. Print. Six.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 800

San Gabriel, December 2011

Here is a photo of my sister Jenny and my cousin Logan. We spent Christmas eve at my aunts house which we've done for the past few years now. Jenny is showing Logan how to put the cupcake batter in the wrappers. I'm happy that I get to record moments, any moment, but especially these moments that might be forgotten about or maybe weren't that significant but maybe they can be, or are.

I like to think of photography as a collection of these moments in time, and it's a nice feeling to be able to just go through photos from the past and remember these times. I think it helps.

how can we

Pomona Speaks

steps get louder
shadows move faster
lies get bigger
motives get thicker

I shout for equal rights
I shout for fairness
I shout that you are all traitors
I shout so you can hear me
I shout for Pomona so you can hear her

our mouths kept silent for the sake of business
no moving, no talking, no feeling
oh so this is democracy where we shake hands behind dark walls
while our children are flipped back on fours forced to crawl crawl crawl

she said when she looked at the crowd she saw her neighbors
how could she forsake them, how could she forsake herself
a motion for justice, a motion for fairness
their mouths kept silent for the sake of business

this beating louder
we must not forsake ourselves
we can’t forsake her

I fight for equal rights
I fight for justice
I fight against all the fakes
I fight so you can hear me
I fight for Pomona so you can hear her

Stop The Pomona Waste Transfer Station

Dear friends,

I wanted to ask you all if you would be willing to do one very small thing to help the City of Pomona in a time of great need. A waste transfer station is being proposed again to the city of Pomona. The trash company, Valley Vista, has been given one more public hearing this Monday, July 16 2012. This is when the council will decide if this project will happen or not.

The city of Pomona and the people who live here do not want or need this trash transfer station. We already beat this proposal back in October of 2011 with a lot of tears and hard work. Now we just have to beat it one more time and this nightmare is over. Please help Pomona by following this link, downloading one of these flyers and just posting it on your wall or as your profile picture or reblogging this. It would make the biggest difference, and if you have time between 5pm -12 midnight on July 16th, Monday, please come to the public hearing to speak out against this trash station.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151301906632345.489466.688672344&type=1

I love all of you and I hope that you can help even if it's just a very small thing like changing your profile picture or posting the flyer up for others to see. Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you can help us.

Love,
your friend Tony

Friday

Mateo and Xavier

January 18 2011
Mt. Baldy, Ca

テニスコーツ "嗚咽と歓喜の名乗り歌"

Tenniscoats- Weeping self-introduction song of joy

No Cuts

Fighting for public education. NO CUTS!
San Francisco, Ca.
March 4 2010

Our friend, Sabrina A. took this photo. We all came from Hayward to the city to join the big rally at City Hall in San Francisco. We stopped at one of my favorite parks in Chinatown beforehand to have lunch since we arrived really early.

I think it's sad that tuition has gone up so high, and student loan debt is on the rise. When people graduate, they are just burdened with huge amounts of debt. Why are we spending more money on our military, why are we bailing out the fat cats of wall street, when we could be spending that money on our children and our education? I haven't lost hope, and I will continue to fight with the same urgency I had two years ago. We can't give up.

Polly

Deserted basketball courts are the best.

Just one thing

Can't/Can

Steps

Xavier, Salton Sea, CA 2012

Keep on

Sharma Brothers Birthday

July 2 2012

It seems like every year for the years and years I've known Amish and Amit, I haven't had the chance to really celebrate their birthdays with them. This may sound weird but I believe this time around, that unfortunate circumstance ended up giving me and a few friends the surprise edge that we needed.

Melva texted me in the morning and asked me if I was free to get together to celebrate Amish's birthday at her place. It was perfect, it was my day off and I was already planning on somehow surprising the birthday dudes so it was just perfect timing on her part. I'm a good liar when I need to be and a bad liar when I don't have to be if that makes any sense. I called Amit with birthday wishes and in the back my head, I had the game plan of "okay, I'm totally going to make up some lie about having to work so I can't celebrate his birthday with him, and wish him an awesome birthday whatever he decides to do". I did the same thing to Amish and now the plans were set. Lily, Xavier, Melva, and I got on the same page, Xavier and I picked up candles, gatorades, and some girl named Lily from work and it was on.

This is Xavier trying to scare Lily at work, it sounds stupid but picking up Lily from work was awesome. It's nice to see my friends in their work environment/work mode, it's almost a whole other side of them, maybe that's why I like it? p.s. Xavier was successful in surprising Lily, which prepared us for the ultimate surprise.

Before stopping at Melvas house, we made a stop at one of the best donut spots in Pomona (knowledge of this attained by Wizard Master Parker and Wizard Master Bones) to pick up a dozen donuts. Melva's house was pretty much the most charming house I've seen in a while, it was nice to see her, and actually hang out because we have never really had the chance to do that. Lily, Xavier, and myself were so freaked out about when to light the candles because we didn't want to light them too early, or light them too late. And as we were bickering, the brothers pulled up in their car and we all ran into Melvas bedroom and frantically lit all the candles with only one burn injury via Xavier.

Their faces were priceless, I'm so happy that they really had no clue that they were going to be surprised. And it was just nice to see these two, they are some of my closest friends and it's nice to know that even though I haven't seen them in a long while, nothing has changed, they smile the same and they make me happy just the same.

I made these two wall boards, I liked how drawn Amit was pretty spot on to the real Amit on that day and Amish's face in this photo was pretty accurate.

Okay, yes, I've become this weird loving animal/dog person in this past year since I've had Toph. It's tops bluebee! I seriously think every dog is pretty much the most handsome beautiful dog ever. But I mean this when I say this, Melva's companions are pretty much the sweetest dogs. Above is a picture of Lukas the dog, he was so funny, all he wanted was affection and he sure got plenty of it from all of us. I wanted to take him home, does that make me a bad person?

Here's a picture of Amit not being able to contain his excitement for all the donuts and fudge cake.

And this is Indy, such a beautiful girl! I don't think she was as (hey I just want you to pet me) as Lucas was but she wasn't any less sweet at all. She knows how to give hugs, but only exclusively to Melva.

Lily couldn't wait for the food.

Ending our night with some Bravo Burgers at Melva's house. So happy that I got to see the Sharma brothers, and so glad that we actually surprised them and so grateful to have spent the day with them on their special day with some more special friends. Love is a pretty cool thing.

And if you need any their drivers license info, just go ahead and email me, I don't think they would mind.