Archimedes Saint Little Dog

Archimedes, Mt. Baldy Ca. February 23 2012

Currents

botanist

Pomona Ca. August 16 2012

donuts 4 lyfe

Tophee

Pomona, Ca. January 13 2012

stay strong

There are candles burning on the small table beside me.
Toph is asleep under the orange light of the flames.
As the old receiver across the room is glowing bright with small red lights.
Explosions in the sky has been playing since the bulbs turned yellow and bright.

As I'm lying here, I'm writing down all that I can remember from the last time I saw you.
The words that you said, the thoughts in my head.
And I think about the kind position I'm in.
Wise words, advice, and hymns.

I look toward my toes past these worn out legs and I remain steady.
I stay and my heart is filled with so much love.
Recognizing this stored warmth and saving it for a cold month I let out just enough.
Just enough to stay strong.

three junes ago

Brooklyn, NY June 20 2009

Photo by Mr. Riedy.

strangers

Claremont, Ca November 3 2011

From left to right-
Albert Francolara (fake last name), me, Xavier, unknown person, and unknown persons shoulder.

her words

After all of these years, your words have stayed here
and they remind me that I can't give up.
All I have to do is listen and I'll be okay.
Thank you.

Processed. Print. Ten.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

Upland, CA June 2012

Here is a portrait of my friend Abraham holding the best ice cream in Upland. I met Abraham at a local music show one night, it was cool because even though we have so many mutual friends, we didn't meet through any of them. We met because we just introduced ourselves to each other.

Abraham and I have had our ups and downs as friends due to my personality clashing with his but we got through it by learning more about each other. And I like our current friendship now because we have both learned how to adjust in ways that are not extreme but enough to respect each other and accept each other fully. I speak for myself when I say these things and I speak for myself when I say that I really look up to plenty of Abrahams traits. He is one of the most considerate and respectful roommates that I've ever lived with but he's still not as cool as my roommate Toph.

I'm so proud of him for all the strength that he has carried and I'm so happy that we had a chance to really get to know and understand each other recently. I'm happy that I have the chance to be there for friends that need me, even if it's a small gesture, I think it makes such a difference in both of our lives. Abraham told me a few weeks ago, "things can only get better from here" and those words of hope and trust in himself and his faith have stayed with me.

I'm grateful to have a friend that I can learn so much from, but also a friend that displays so much strength within himself. The most inspiring thing about Abe is that he always trying to better himself, he is constantly checking himself and finding ways to be a better Abe. I think that's pretty rad.

Squirtle Power.

Thoughts while lying down in the driveway

Fleet Foxes- Helplessness Blues

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see
And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

But I don't, I don't know what that will be
I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

What's my name, what's my station, oh, just tell me what I should do
I don't need to be kind to the armies of night that would do such injustice to you
Or bow down and be grateful and say "sure, take all that you see"
To the men who move only in dimly-lit halls and determine my future for me

And I don't, I don't know who to believe
I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

If I know only one thing, it's that everything that I see
Of the world outside is so inconceivable often I barely can speak
Yeah I'm tongue-tied and dizzy and I can't keep it to myself
What good is it to sing helplessness blues, why should I wait for anyone else?

And I know, I know you will keep me on the shelf
I'll come back to you someday soon myself

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm raw
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
And you would wait tables and soon run the store

Gold hair in the sunlight, my light in the dawn
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
Someday I'll be like the man on the screen

self portrait august 26 2012

pick you up

when i sit quietly, how do i know

my art house co-op sketchbook 2012

I realized in my previous post of the sketchbook tour coming to Los Angeles that I didn't post any photos from my sketchbook. These are a few of my favorite pages from my book for a number of reasons but mostly for the significance of the figures and the meanings behind them. Most of these pages here are complete spreads or diptychs. So they are meant to be one piece even though they are two separate drawings/images.

My favorite thing about this entire sketchbook was the handmade feel I got from holding it. It was nice to be able to cut and bind all kinds of paper into one book. I forgot how much I actually enjoy building things that are so simple but can provide so much.

 

separate/together

confirmation

Sketchbook Tour Los Angeles

May 25 2012

After almost a year in the process, the sketchbook project was finally in Los Angeles. This sketchbook project was very dear to me because it made me feel like I was connecting with a new art community in Pomona. Which is something I missed so dearly about leaving the bay area. I invited four of my friends in Pomona to be a part of this project and even though Amy was the only one that followed through with it, I was still grateful. Also, our sketchbooks were just one of hundreds of sketchbooks in this tour so that gave me an even bigger sense of an art community.

My friends, Anthony, Adrien, and Abraham drove out to Los Angeles for the opening night. It was upsetting to find out that they were only going to be there for two days because a lot of friends couldn't make it on either one of those days. So this is my mini-"hey I know you missed the show, and I know these aren't the best photos, and there were hundreds of books and there are only a few pages here but I care about you and I hope this makes you feel like you were there, even if it's just a little." Post.

So there are three steps when going to any stop during the tour.

1. Make a library card.

-All the books belong to a permanent collection in Brooklyn New York so of course you need to make a quick library card so you can check out the book you want.

2. Check out books.
-There were three computers set up and there were an array of options to choose from to find the book you wanted. Either you knew what book you wanted so you just type in the name of the artist, or you can check out a book by it's theme, by it's region, and then you'll get a random book that matches that criteria.

3. The wonderful workers from the sketchbook tour find whatever book you checked out and call your name when it's ready. And the fun ensues.

So Abraham checked out my book first and every time you check out anyones book, you get a second book. And I didn't find this out until later but whenever anyone checked out my book this same book in the picture above came along with mine. That sketchbook was from Mexico. 

One thing that was really exciting was to check out sketchbooks from friends and peers that I went to school with. The fishes eating each other is a page from Kenneth Hungs sketchbook. He's actually the person that told me about this project and convinced me to participate in it. Thanks Kenneth! And your sketchbook was definitely in the top ten of the night. 

Anthony Gonzalez showing us a favorite page of his. 

Classroom fighting. 

This was pretty much the scene trhoughout the gallery. There were about a dozen seats and an infinite amount of floor seating, I loved it because if we didn't want to go back up and get in line to check out another book, we would just start exchanging books with the groups of people right next to us. 

There was also a table/area for making postcards for others to see when the tour went on to a new city. Here's a sweet picture of that process. 

Maria from the U.K. 

Since we got there right when the show started, we didn't have to fight the crowds. Towards the end of the night, this huge gallery space was crammed with so many people. But it just felt more festive every second. 

I remember Adrien and Anthony being really impressed with a sketchbook by Jade Ku. Her book was full of inspirational quotes and fun colors. 

This reminded me of internal organs. 

And another book that I loved and I'm not being biased was Amy Maries book. "You're Not Fooling Anyone". Her book was all about hair. 

This was just one of many spreads that I absolutely loved and it was such a relief to finally see her book after months of guessing and waiting. She had portraits and portraits drawn mostly with ball point pen. Her drawings were so detailed and drawn so well, I love the kind of gradient that ball point pen creates and Amy used that to her advantage creating layers and layers of hair. 

Little warrior.

One thing Abraham and I made sure to do was try to write down the names of artist that we really liked so maybe we could contact them or even find more of their artwork. These two spreads are by Mattias Adolfsson, and yes these drawings get even better. I loved this sketchbook. 

I'm so grateful that I had a chance to be part of a traveling art show with so many people from different parts of the world. It made me smile just thinking about how most of these sketchbooks have traveled  

thousands of miles to meet each other, then travel thousands and thousands of more miles to meet all kinds of people. What a cool project and I'm so happy with how my book came out and I'm happy that I had the chance to see so many great sketchbooks with some cool friends. 

I hope my mini, "hey I know you missed the show, and I know these aren't the best photos, and there were hundreds of books and there are only a few pages here but I care about you and I hope this makes you feel like you were there, even if it's just a little" was nice for you to read and look at. And just because you missed these sketchbooks that one time doesn't mean you'll never get a chance to see them again. They live in the Brooklyn art library as long as it's up and running so if you are ever in that area, give them a visit. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you.

Additional Photography by Abraham Santos

center/circle/side

Tears of release

Your hands pushing and pulling, listening to these intricate desires and expressions so vast that our hearts can’t bear the weight and they cascade into fragments of broken I don’t knows and half spoken sensations. And as our shoulders touch we realize why we are here, sharing not yet known feelings and hopes, and as I look into that immense gaze I see myself tucked away in warm arms that are not my own. I begin again as I have, and remember these seams must be sewn. These dreams must be shown with none really yet known.

Never wanting you to leave this place that isn’t yours, more, more, until my eyes stay open all night with this sense of unsure. This unsaid urge, knocking softly insistent, as I look again I remember why I feel so convinced. So sure of everything inside of you, as we move closer you tell me I can search for him. I look up towards that glowing brim, these eyes fill until full, and I want to, I want you, but I can’t force a false hue.

So I start again, and maybe seven years will feel like a few days. And as I sit and pray, I’m reminded I left out a few words, how could I forget those few words.

this time is ours, we are so small

This is a poem I wrote today about perspective and understanding my own suffering and the suffering of others. This poem is about how my mind can spill so much negativity if I let it and how that can take over my entire day, my entire mind if I let it. This poem is about how we share so much with others and that kind of trust and love can help us so much, but also that weight can be taken off our shoulders when we can confide to people.

Today I felt so down, because all I could think about was how heartbroken I am. Then a dear person I look up to shared something so immensely heavy with me and after her words were done, all I could do was embrace her and be there for her. And I thank her because she reminded me that I'm not alone, and my suffering is not alone. It made me look outside of myself once again and really opened me up and set my heart free.

I am so small in this world and when I start to see with this open heart, it lessens my suffering and I can begin to lessen the suffering of others around me.

Explosions in the Sky- Yasmin the Light

Love

But Naomi said, "Turn back, my daughters, why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters, go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the LORD has gone forth against me."

Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. And she said, "See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law."

But Ruth said, "Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God; where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if even death parts me from you."
(Ruth 1:16)

My sister Ly shared this with me not too long ago and I thought it was such a beautiful story. She explained that when she would go to churches and read excerpts from the bible she felt like she had a different perspective because she was sort of an outsider. And I see that too when I read from these same books. Since I am a non Christian I might read Ruths story a little differently from a Christian.

Here is why I think what Ruth says is such a beautiful statement. I see a woman who loves her mother in-law so immensely that she willing to leave her land and her people, her customs, her religious beliefs, and her comforts to stay with Naomi. "where you die I will die, and there will I be buried.", I read this as, even when Naomi dies, Ruth will stay there in that land and not go back, she will be buried in the same place as her mother in-law.

"May the Lord do so to me and more also if even death parts me from you." I read this as, Ruth is willing to reap whatever consequences God has for her, no matter what they are.

I know many people who read this interpret it as Ruths love for God but I see it as Ruths love for Naomi. I think that has been interesting for me to read these things as an outsider and to be able to get so much from it.

beside you

eyes closed