4.4

The move through this day
reminds me I'm awake

remain

steady
steady feet
steady heart
steady thoughts

remain steady

your hand in mine

system

pale legs tucked away in blankets and sheets
waiting to be saved, tired, defeat
I'm trying
I'm dying

faked breaths stir back and forth
waiting to be okay, wasted, short
I'm trying so hard
I'm dying right now

Processed. Print. Eight.

Pentax K1000/ Kodak Portra 400

April 21st, 2012
Buzzards Roost, Boulder Creek, Ca (mountains north of Santa Cruz)

In late April, Adrien and I made a trip up to Santa Cruz for three days to see The Shins play and to also just enjoy the city. On the second day that we were in Santa Cruz, we decided to drive north to Boulder Creek in Big Basin Redwood State Park. I will never forget how much fun I had and I know Adrien and Toph had just as much fun. Especially Toph, it was a great hike because there was hardly no one on this trail because it was definitely a harder hike, so Toph was off her leash and just ran around like a crazy dog.

We finally got to the top after a lot of heavy breathing and tired legs, and this was the view. Just imagine this but completely 360 degrees all the way around, all we could see were the top of the pines. I'm happy that we didn't give up half way there and turn around because it was all worth it when we finally got to the top, and the whole hike just to get there was a beautiful view. All that hard work paid off and this is the picture that was taken from the very top.

we've come so far but

How Far Have We Gone Off Track (Japanther)  2 of 9

Gouache and Ink on paper

2011

note of the day

Trust you completely

We pay this fare, to watch each other in this state of
affairs, this state of stare and stare.
Rumbling floors, moving across this hot pavement.
Automatic doors, sometimes so patient.

And I wonder about you, this constant curiosity of
what is, of what was, and what has.
I wonder while glancing at legs crossed, hands clasped,
knees together, heads rested, eyes closed.

I close my eyes and I hear your soft fragmented
voice asking, "trust me completely".
As this smile falls upon me, my body slumps
into my seat and I begin to feel so purely and utterly free.

today

slumber parties

Projections

Self portrait in my bedroom, November 2011

short trips slow years

Berkeley, January 2010

Living in Hayward and having my big sister Ly that only lived twenty miles away in the city was always something I was so grateful for. I would visit her in San Francisco almost every other weekend when I was a freshmen in college and throughout the four years I went less and less because of my how busy school and work got but we still always managed to get together and catch up on things.

I was pretty lucky because Ly lived in the bay area for so many years that she became an expert at cool places to hang out, and great places to eat! My sister introduced me to Indian Cuisine in 2006 and ever since I've always been a fan. On this day we spent our morning in Berkeley and went to Viks in Berkeley to have lunch. Til this day I have never had any better Indian food than Viks. The full name is Vik's Chaat Corner, chaat being Indian street food and "Chaat" actually means "to lick". Traditionally, this road-side snack was served on a leaf and was so tongue-tickling that one could not resist licking the last morsels from the leaf before discarding it.

I've been going through old photos, thinking about these times and feeling so happy that I spent those years close to someone that I've always looked up to and someone that is very dear to me. I miss my big sister.

First day of August