ph. mb. pt. three- one million miles per hour

Potential 2009

This was a painting I did during my Junior year. At this time, there were so many things running through my head. So much going on at one time. Was I doing what I really wanted to do? Was this program for me? Is this the right school to stay at? Am I good enough, am I making the right decisions?

Those were just a few questions on top of numerous amounts of questions that I had. It came to this point where I was mentally/physically exhausted from always spending so much energy on so many things at once. I was tired, stressed, unhappy.

I made this piece to talk about how our thoughts, emotions, and actions are heavily influenced or easily influenced and what can come from that. What are the consequences of it? The television for a head represents the idea of influence. The television is a outlet or source of knowledge or lack of knowledge that influences so many of our own personal traits or how we perceive the world. How something so square, and simple can cause us to react in such intense ways.

The tentacles represent thought, our thoughts, the thousands and thousands of thoughts that we have, that are fragmented and tangled but can be traced back to us. I started to realize at this time that if I just sat with my thoughts, on an individual basis. I could confront and deal with each question/problem one at a time without feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. When I started to do this, I realized I was looking at the root of my problem, where it started and where it could eventually end up. And I felt enlightened, something so simple really helped me to realize that healing myself and my stress/frustration/confusion was possible.

The string that is being held onto is a symbol for how we hold onto things that sometimes don't really have that much weight, that we sometimes perceive our problems, our plight, to be much more significant than they really are. The light bulbs represent that enlightenment, that realization that I can do this.

It's nice to revisit old pieces like this and reflect and compare my current life now. I have to remember that a burden is only heavy when you let it stay on your shoulders for too long. You can set it down, you can share it, and eventually it will wear out and it will be completely gone.