Self Portrait May

Movement through May

Sheets halfway, I pull myself up, leaping into this day. I told him I had everything ready to say, no more lying, no more strays. There was this pounding from closed peripherals, I couldn't wait any longer. I said what I had to, with a head full of conviction. My words seemed loud, not giving you a voice. When it was time to hear you, the time already fleeting.

Sheets over my chest, I leave myself there. I wrote everything I couldn't hold, no restrictions, no dismay. This pounding louder, more apparent and I saw it all at once, I couldn't wait another day. The ink spilled onto these pages, I wasn't scared. My words were quiet, waiting to be read. When it was time to hear you, I listened.

When it was time to hear you, I couldn't.

Sheets cover my head, crawling into this day. Nothing but silence. This pounding unbearable, I tried to ignore it, I needed to forget. My mouth stopped, my thoughts stuck. I have to wait for so many days. My words have no attention, just the sound of sobbing coming through every night.

It was time to hear you, I'm here.

I woke up today, clinging onto a hold. A hold to pull me out of this pounding. I see you and it's okay. And I remember these days are days. The move through this month, I don't have to wait. It's here, I can change.