August Self-portrait 2013

August 17 2013

This has been a full month, the month of August.
I was late to work twice this month, some days I catch myself in this daze that I can't quite explain.
A sort of listless gaze. Days where I can't keep track of the right days. I need to practice being more present again, being more present now.

I went to a Dodger game by myself last Saturday. I bought my ticket right when I found out they were giving away Nomo bobbleheads, I couldn't miss that. It was a really fun experience and it was nice to have a day off from work. I sat by really hardcore fans, it was great. A younger woman was sitting behind me with a portable radio which was playing the game, it was actually very nice to get a play by play. On my left was a very young family of five. They had lots of snacks and sunburns. On my right sat a elderly Hispanic woman and her son, she was the best fan of them all. She prayed in between innings for the Dodgers to do well and every time a Dodger player would strike out she would let out this expression that translated into: "ahh, I hope he is okay." The Dodgers won that game and Hideo Nomo, my favorite pitcher of all time, threw out the first pitch!

I've been working on a project about fear for quite a few months now and I'm at a total of 38 interviews. My goal is to end at 200 interviews, so far it has been a life changing experience that I did not expect. I have lots to write about this project but in the near future.

I bought a snare drum the other day, I've been writing music lately with different people. It's nice to explore something that is new, the feeling of learning is nice. I think I've been stuck in a cycle of just doing what I know and what I've always done that I didn't really get to experience that feeling of the unknown and feeling uncomfortable. So to be out of that normal shell is nice.

A friend of mine just recently got his heart broken, he was dating someone for half a year and it has abruptly stopped. I tried giving him some advice about how to go about it to help him feel better and it made me realize that there's not much I can say, he will heal with time and he has to figure out how to deal. Relationships are complicated and can get real ugly in a heartbeat, I just want to ride bikes, draw pictures, and go on new adventures, forget all that other stuff. :) Maybe someday I'll find a woman who likes those things and is really rad, or maybe I'll adopt a dog, I've been thinking about adopting another dog. Toph would be really happy, but who really knows.